Our Memories, Our Past
by PrettyKittyh2o
Summary: SONGFIC : I lay here, could he possibly be thinking of me? I sat there in the dark, could she still love me? How did this happen? PLEASE R&R! THANK YOU! P.S. Based on New Moon, during months of seperation. Is sad, so be careful!


**Disclaimer : I Do not own Twilight, that belongs to the amashzing Stephenie Meyer, Nor do I own "How Could This Happen to Me?" by Simple Plan.**

**Fateful Nights.**

**(E:POV)**

**I pulled my head out of my knees, my body shook violently with tear less cries. The light shown through the small cracks of the old attic. I haven't hunted in weeks, and I haven't seen the love of my life for months.**

_I open my eyes  
I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light. _

**Why? Is the only question I can ask, the only thing that flows through my mind. She, My Bella, was the only thing I loved, and she possibly loved me. Then, I just left her. A idiotic act, but she will soon see I was only a monster, and I never deserved her. Yet still, why?**

_I__ can't remember how  
I can't remember why _

**I now sit here, after countless days, many hours. No reason left to try, no reason left to live. I left it all, and I tore my family apart. There is no reason why I need to go back. I moaned silently, and rolled to my side. **

**This new pain, like I was slowly being tortured and the whole world stood by and watched. I held my dead heart, and lay upon the old, cold wooden floor. This pain I could barely bare, I just wanted to die, there was something missing. It was **_her._** The pain shot through again, I curled up tightly. I just want it to go away, I want to hold her, and beg her to take me back. If she denied, at least I could have a closure, I could exist contently. **

_I'm lying here tonight  
And I can't STAND the pain  
And I can't make it go away  
No I can't STAND the pain _

**I don't understand how I let this happen to me, I have done much wrong, but the one thing I love and care undeniably for I left. Now, I have no place to go I am wanted no where. My bel- the pain in my heart shot again, she cannot not possibly want me back. My family, who have gave me everything and I have let go twice can't want me. **

_How could this happen to me  
I've made my mistakes  
got nowhere to run _

**I dug my fingers into the wood, the pain increasing. I knew it would be only a short while before I went completely insane, I am sick of this life. The life away from her, my only life. I just want to let it all out, and run back to her warm, loving arms. How...did this happen.**

_The night goes on as I'm fading away  
I'm sick of this life  
I just wanna scream  
How could this happen to me _

**(B:POV)**

**I lay on my bed, like I have for the past months. The phone rings, the message is left, the beep beeps. My computer makes a sound when new email arrives, Charlie calls from downstairs, yet it's all a blur. Just like everything is being yelled and when I yell back, or want to, no one cares to listen.**

_Everybody's screaming  
I try to make a sound but no one hears me _

_He's_** been gone for 2 months now, and I still feel like it was only yesterday. Yesterday that my only reason, my life left by saying he didn't love me. I guess I always knew it was coming, but somehow I just didn't care. **

**Now, I just lay here, broken and confused. All tears have been shed, now I'm just stepping onto the road of insanity. Or so it seems. It feels like I'm just dangling, like there are only a few things that cause me to live everyday. Except, really I just want to start over with my life, and I only want, him, to be apart of it.**

_I'm slipping off the edge  
I'm hanging by a thread  
I wanna start this over again _

**Reality is, that'll never happen. He'll never come back, I'll never be quiet the same. The only things that keep me practically same are my dreams of him, and our last memories. The good, and the bad. Even as bad as it hurt to even picture him, the memories are the only thing keeping me completely loony free. Those were the days when nothing mattered, when all was well, and when I had my future set.**

**.::Flashback::.**

"**No. Nothing fit. Most of it was kind of silly. And then..." I spoke quietly, pausing trying to make sure I was right with that decision.**

"**What?" Edward spoke, almost hesitantly.**

"**I decided it didn't matter" I remembered whispering, looking out the window.**

"**It didn't **_matter_**?" Edward's tone was incredulous, and somewhat angry. I remember looking over into his face, it was confused, pained, hopeful, and a little angry.**

**.::End Flashback::.**

_So I try to hold  
On to a time when  
Nothing mattered _

**I was aching, and shaking involuntary as the flashback ended. That was the true day I gave my heart away. The day I trusted him with it, and little over a year later he took it and threw it away. And when he did, I barely tried to keep him from doing just that. He was right all along, I was only a fragile human, who couldn't do anything. I just wish that now, I could go back and make him stay. Make him see that he did love me.**

_And I can't explain  
What happened and I can't erase the things that I've done  
No I can't_

**Why? How could I have let it happen like that? I did make some mistakes, by trusting love for the first time, and putting everything into it. Now, after not gaining many friends, my parents would never truly understand I have no one to go to. I wish I had Alice here. Another shock of pain ran through my body, I wish I had them back.**

_How could this happen to me  
I've made my mistakes  
got nowhere to run _**  
**

**I wrapped my arms around me protectively, trying to keep myself intact. I just wanted to die, end this pain, it was pure slow torture. I'm sick of this life, I hate living it alone, but I only want one person to live it with; And sadly, he isn't ever coming back. **

_The night goes on as I'm fading away  
I'm sick of this life _

**I closed my eyes, and slowly sat up from my bed, as my feet came in contact with the cold floor I pulled them back and slowly sat them back.**

_I just wanna scream _

**I pushed myself slowly up, and walked over to the window. I pressed my cheek against the cool glass, it reminded me so much of him. The rain patted against the glass, I moved my face from the window and began tracing mindless shapes around the drops.**

**(E:POV. ATTIC, B:POV. BEDROOM)**

**As I rested my head against the wooden wall, my eyes closed I heard the soft padding of winter rain. I listened closely and I swear I could hear Bella speaking, I wished hear so much, to hold her so much. Why was I so stupid?**

** OOO **

**I opened the window slightly, I imagined seeing Edward sneak up and kiss my softly. It sent shivers down my spine. The cool rain against my face felt good, familiar. I sat on the window sill , letting the rain cover my entire body. It felt like him, I needed him so bad that I could pretty much hear his velvet words. Why was I so fragile?**

** OOO  
**

"**How could this happen to us?" He whispered into the dark.**

"**How could this happen to us?" she whispered into the rain.**

_**How could this happen to me...**_

_**------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- **_

**So, I was listening to "How could this happen to me?" by Simple Plan when I realized it really could explain the two points of views of Edward and Bella in New Moon. I thought of the plot quickly and wrote it. It was longer than I thought, and quiet depressing.**

**I hoping to find a good song for Eclipse to make a songfic for that, as well as a Song for my version of Breaking Dawn.**

**So yeah, sad song, sad story. But I think it turned out well. Please R&R!**

**Thanks yous,**

**PrettyKitty!**


End file.
